I'm not perfect. And I probably will never be.
But one of my good traits is the fact that no matter how much I disagree with a person, I totally do try my best to get along an civically possible.
I may talk trash on my blog, but at a certain level, I still know how to behave myself, especially with older people. Its a Malay thing. No matter how unsatisfied you are with an elder, we at least act submissive in front of them. This is call 'adab' or curtousey. Weather a person is ikhlas or not is between him and God. That's just the way it is.
I've had my fair share of problems with my bosses. Sometimes I admit I get mad when they don't listen to reason and lash out with criticism but at the end of the day, I do accept that a ship can only have one captain. And you must listen to that captain in order to keep your ship afloat. After many a moon, when we understand each other, sailing becomes smoother. I do what she tells me, I get what I ask for. Support for my work, for my students. After a couple of years, this school which I once so hated has really grown on me. I actually like it here.
And I'd be damded if someone tried to mess it up.
A new staff came in a couple of years ago. My students called him a pondan for being so soft and sotong-ish. But his tongue is razor sharp. Before a year was up, he had made enemies with many of the other teachers. Worst off, he had foolishly shared on the social media his thoughts...and the whole world saw it. Yeah... actually, somebody showed boss. That scared the crap out of everyone to block that someone, just incase we had a slip...hahahah.
He got called in and lectured. Really...it was unprofessional of him. But being from Malaya, I tried to sympathize with his predicament...being far away from family and probably not having much of a life in Sandakan may have given him extreme stress. Sympathy. No matter how provocative or nasty he posted, no matter how much everyone was talking behind of him, I just shrugged it off. Afterall, everyone has problems. Everyone has their poison.
Lately, I noticed him going after my 6th Formers. He doesn't teach Form 6 but despite even me not knowing them well and not daring to add them on Twitter and FB....he did. And he made an issue with some of them with very racial statements. Still, he's a collegue. Different people have different ways of handling stress. It was his thing, besides, he did it to everyone.
WAR OF THE BOSSES.
Then one fine day, disaster struck. Be it sabotage or a pure misunderstanding...we may never know because nobody can be sure of ones intentions be it good or bad. There was a clash of the bosses. My boss Vs. my superior. It was getting pretty ugly, and later on I discovered that it was tied to an earlier problem.
Boss told me. She called me in, and I believe she just wanted me to help get things back in order with my Superior because he wouldn't return her calls. She was really stressed out. She had told me even the stuff I shouldn't have heard. As I shrank into the chair hearing her story, I heard the staff outside the office become so quiet. You could hear a freaking needle hit the floor.
Tried to be neutral. Truth is, I truly didn't know what to say. All I could do was listen. I offered to help with the mess surrounding Superior, but I have no idea what to say about the rest. Its not my place to say anything. I'm just a lowly staff working to find a meal for my family.
As she has mentioned some of my friends...after the conversation, afraid that they'd get the wrong message, I rushed to see Superior to explain what happened and pleaded with him to let it go and make peace. No more gaduh2. He was luckily, very understanding and wasn't too mad.
I also went to my friends & asked them to quickly remove the offensive posts boss had seen... then one pal asked WHY boss told me all of this, implying me of brown-nosing. Great. Just great. Think what you want honey, was just trying to save your ass.
Then , those pals, and the dude I referred to earlier was lectured by boss coz a spy had apparently readily printed out their
posts before they had removed them. Nasty.
Then, after a strange turn of events... I saw the dude lament about how some "friends" should be not trusted and should be removed. Didn't think much about it because I know my conscience was clear.
Until I noticed that I had been blocked....and it all came to me and made sense. He was implying that I was bosses spy.
Wow.... that's so flattering actually to think that I could probably be on buddy terms with the boss. That I could possibly go lepak with her after work for teh tarik and fill her in with details of what people are saying behind her back. That was a big wow.
Nevermind that.
But after knowing him for the past 3 years...I could only imagine what his posts are about me. I cant read them, but everyone else can.
I admit that many people are not friendly with me because I am not the social type. I don't sit for long at the canteen and I stay out of most weekend social events because I value my family more. People are sick of seeing each others faces 8 hours a day, 5 times a week. Why torture them?
But I couldn't bear to imagine what nonsense this dude was going to write about me. If he could be rude to a senior teacher infront of his face, imagine the possibilities this person could do to me. What my friends would read. What my students would read. So, I promptly blocked him. I cut myself off.
He wanted to make me an enemy. So obviously , he will get one.
He literally did keep out of my way for weeks, but my may be paranoid self started getting dirty, sly looks from some of my friends. It was horrible. What I was worried about earlier, may have come true.
Today, he came into my staff room to drop off documents on my friends desk. He looked straight on with his divalistic strut and showed a face which my dear ol' mum usually refers to as 'Muka tak bawak untung'.
Usually, muslims give salam before entering anothers domain, but this dude just crashed in like a buffalo. Sweet.
I know many non-muslims who know better manners than you, cow. Tis' shameful really.
I have no idea why I'm writing this.
No, I'm doing this to get my story out to anyone who will listen.
I'm a quiet person. I only speak what is necessary to say. I believe that speaking too much may lead me to say stuff that shouldn't be said, because I'm human and I know my weakness.
I come to work because I enjoy teaching and all I want to do is make a living and raise my family. Not to become a politician or a Melodi reporter. DUDE, get a life will ya?!
Because there is a very clear line that defines an outspoken and opinionated individual and a rude pig.
Sandakan is my home now. So if you hate this place and its people so much...you should fill in a transfer form.
Cheerio, sucker.
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